Jobless for a Year

Today is a special anniversary, one I will never forget – October 27, 2009 will always be a special day for me. Indeed, it is a day I reckon as an anniversary. For it was on this day last year that I was laid off. Why is this good news? It is good news because I must give glory to God for providing for us – not that he had any obligation to do so, but he found it within his pleasure to do so and so we praise him for such mercy.

I remember the day well. It was as surreal as my wedding day and the birth of my firstborn. I felt detached as I knowingly packed up my personal belongings into two boxes full of pictures and children’s artwork, carrying each one into the car – separately, to prolong the inevitable. I remember the gracious, and last, conversation I had with my employer. Sales just were not coming in, my place just could not be rationalized. Saying our goodbyes I drove home wondering. My thoughts were mostly on my family – my wife and children. How could I provide for them? We had not a month’s worth of savings in the account. In less than a week a mortgage would be due with no funding to go towards it. But my thoughts also turned towards God. What was he doing? What was the lesson? Where is this journey suppose to take us? In many ways I felt I was driving down a tunnel. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but drive as I might, no matter how long or how fast it never got closer. It was always a dim, distant light. That was how I felt.

And a year has passed. We have not missed one bill. We have not had one late payment. Our pantry stocked almost the entire year and just recently needed replenishing. We have not gone hungry or cold. Indeed, we have had extra. We have been so overwhelmingly abundantly supplied for that our cup has run more than over. And still we live paycheck to paycheck. Only there is no regular, dependable paycheck this time. It has come from odd jobs, temp jobs and the love of others.

How then does a family of five survive for an entire year with perhaps four to five months worth of odd jobs? The answer is God. He is our all. Of course, I should not have been surprised. He has been the author of all our provisions in the past and will continue to be in the future. Why would it be different now? We have been given six (or seven – we’ve been given a truck since this post) cars in a row as a foretaste of this time. Consider them the first fruits of how God pays a salary.

Of course, this is no indictment on those who God has not provided for in this way in their lives though they are in desperate need. God’s grace is in response to nothing in us. It has just been his good pleasure. But let us not forget those who are in need tonight – desperate need.  Right around the corner there are senior adults who must choose between a mortgage and medicine. And there is a 30 something couple with children in tow looking for an overpass to sleep under tonight. The orphans, by law or death, are waiting for someone to live with them – just live. And the widows are slumbering in cold, cockroach infested nursing homes tonight chewing their nails as they live the glory days when someone just came to visit. If anything, this time has told me to go and do likewise to these. Jesus reminds us in Matthew 11 that the proclamation of the Gospel is accompanied by something else. Matthew 11:2-6

When John heard in prison what the Messiah was doing, he sent a message by his disciples  and asked Him, “Are You the One who is to come, or should we expect someone else?”  Jesus replied to them, “Go and report to John what you hear and see:  the blind see, the lame walk, those with skin diseases are healed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor are told the good news.  And if anyone is not offended because of Me, he is blessed.”

This year, in review, has taught me many fine lessons. More than I care to share here. But let me leave you with a life vision for me. This isn’t my vision as a pastor – I have that, nor is this my vision as a husband – I have that too, and it is not my vision as a parent or child, rather this is simply my vision as a Christian.

I had a preaching professor who had a doubloon made in New Orleans that he gave to all his students. One one side it read “Preach the Word” in Koine Greek. I don’t remember the either side. I still got that doubloon somewhere. But if I were to do an imprinting of a doubloon or coin on one side it would say, “Those who please God walk by faith.” And on the other side it would read, “Seek you first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.” For these two sides of the coin are really the same thing. This is my vision because I want to be holy as God is holy. I want to hear from him “well done, my good and faithful servant.”

Finally, then, as I sit and ponder what a year it has been I am forced to take a deep breath and admit I’m yet to know what it means to walk by faith but now, Dear Father, I ask that you take me there.

I pray peace to you all in the name of Jesus Christ.

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4 Comments to “Jobless for a Year”

  1. Been there myself. It’s been 2 1/2 years since I’ve had a ministry position and have worked at Target, and now as a cook at a daycare. God finally provided a youth position for us at a church plant here in Warner Robins. He is awesome and continues to provide for us during these “crazy times!” BTW, the other side of the coin just has the old seminary logo on it. I keep mine in my wallet just in case I see Dr. Lee or any old friends from New Orleans! God Bless and tell the family “HI.”

  2. Guess I’ll be buying lunch when next we meet. thanks for the testimony.

  3. By testimony, I mean thanks for reminding people in similar situations that they really are not the only one going through such difficult circumstances although it feels like it. I think that really helps people so thanks for being vulnerable for the sake of others.

  4. Thanks for the testimony of God’s faithfulness and goodness.

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