If I Had Written It…

You ever wonder about what you would change in your favorite books? I do all the time. I thought I might share a few:

  1. Curious George Goes to the Hospital: Everyone knows animals go to veterinarian hospitals, not people hospitals!
  2. Snow White: The seven dwarfs adopt Snow White resulting in Prince Charming having to ask all seven for permission to take Snow White’s hand in marriage. He never gets passed Dopey, who can’t seem to grasp Prince Charming’s request. After seven days of futile pleading Prince Charming stumbles away disheartened. Snow White doesn’t leave her room for a month, after which she dies an old spinster patching mining clothes till the end of her days.
  3. Da Vinci Code: All historical dates and references would be accurate.
  4. White Fang: White Fang loses his fight with the pit-bull.
  5. Alice in Wonderland: The rabbit never could find the hole.
  6. Goldilocks and the Three Bears: Goldilocks isn’t picky. She eats everything and sleeps everywhere. The Bears, it turns out are very picky, and whimper in a corner until she leaves.
  7. The Hound of the Baskervilles: Really is a hound from Hell. Now that is scary!
  8. The Three Musketeers: D’Artagnan , Athos, Aramis, and Porthos realize that “All for one and one for all” should translate into “run for the hills and lets hide together.”
  9. Slaughterhouse Five: The Tralfamadorians don’t push the button and so it goes.
  10. The Gospel of Jesus Christ: I can do enough good on my own so that God saves me by acknowledging that my ledger is more positive than negative.

Wow! I guess these books really are better without my help.

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3 Comments to “If I Had Written It…”

  1. Just another reason I won’t tell you when a boy comes to the door. Poor Snow White.

    • I didn’t tell you the whole sad story. In fact, Snow White’s dad was so blind to his own faults he refused to acknowledge the evil plot the wicked queen hatched in an effort to cause the demise of Snow White. Ultimately he blamed Snow White for her death and blamed Prince Charming for being a bad influence. He was sure the meddling dwarfs had introduced the two. Simultaneously he banished Snow White from his kingdom and she broke off all ties with her father. The two haven’t spoken since.

  2. You are just plan horrible.

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